Just a little humor

Might want to file this in the "No Worries" folder:
A hillbilly
hill·bil·ly (hĭlbĭl
n. pl. hill·bil·lies
Often Offensive
A person from the backwoods or a remote mountain area.

[HILL + Billy, a nickname for William.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition copyright ©2022 by HarperCollins Publishers. All rights reserved.

S2,
You've got me wondering about the P.C. euphemism for this term. "Forested Americans"?
movie ratings:
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!
 
Thursday night Colbert reported Quinnipiac poll 24/01/31 (Wednesday) reports Biden 50% Trump 44%.
Colbert continued:

"Thank god. Some good news in an otherwise depressing reality. This is like finding some punch in a turd bowl." Colbert 24/02/01

Happy Groundhog Day
 
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I was walking down the street earlier when this guy approached me "Hey buddy, are you the Idiot that was chatting my wife Julie up in the pub last Friday?" he snarled.

"I'm not sure mate what does she look like?" I asked

"That's her" he said handing me a photo.

"It wasn't me mate," I replied "I only had two beers last Friday."

I know a woman . . . not very pretty She drinks wine and after about 4 or 5 glasses she asks "am I pretty yet? "
 
#203: Right for the wrong reason. Not as rare as it may seem.

"I know a woman . . . not very pretty She drinks wine and after about 4 or 5 glasses she asks "am I pretty yet? "" #204

“The older I get, the better I was.” a U.S. musician born in 1943
 
Smart Injun, from the bovine to the divine in one tidy squelch.

Yo' momma jokes:
- Yo' momma's so short her shoes are in her driver's license photo.
- Yo momma's so fat she's got stretch marks on her Oldsmobile.
- Yo' momma's so fat she stepped out into an open field, jumped up, and got stuck.

ref:
In·di·an (ĭndē-ən)
adj.
1. Of or relating to India or the East Indies or to their peoples, languages, or cultures.
2. Of or relating to any of the Native American peoples except the Aleut, Inuit, and Yupik.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition copyright ©2022 by HarperCollins Publishers. All rights reserved.
 
- OR -
A more familiar ...

Lady Astor said to Churchill, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."

to which Churchill responded: "Madam, if I were your husband I would drink it."

note:
These attributes have been challenged, ostensibly disproved. Whatever the anecdote lacks in historic accuracy, it makes up for in charm.
 
When accused by one of them of being 'disgustingly drunk' the Conservative Prime Minister responded: 'My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.'

Another quote that may or may not be legit. And if it's true it's unclear who he directed it at.
 
An oldie

URGENT….
My cousin has two tickets for the 2024 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. John's Church, in Pembroke 3 p.m. Her name is Stacy. She's 5'2, about 120 lbs. She's a good cook, cleans and does dishes too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
 
An oldie

URGENT….
My cousin has two tickets for the 2024 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. John's Church, in Pembroke 3 p.m. Her name is Stacy. She's 5'2, about 120 lbs. She's a good cook, cleans and does dishes too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
reminds me:

President Clinton arrives in D.C. after a trip to his home state of Arkansas.
He steps off the plane, carrying two pigs, one under each arm. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, the marine guard salutes him sharply.
The President smiles and says, "I'd like to salute you back son, but as you can see, my hands are full."
"Yes, sir!" says the marine. "Mighty fine pigs, sir!"
Clinton replies, "These aren't pigs, son; they're pure Arkansas razorbacks."
"Yes, sir!" says the marine. "Mighty fine razorbacks, sir!"
Clinton says, "I got one for Hilary and one for Chelsea."
"Yes, sir!" the marine says again. "Good trade, sir!"

note:
KC's QB Mahomes' pappy reportedly arrested on DWI charge in Texas.
Whether that will be consequential in this Sunday's game, tbd.
 
Stumbling past Olie's house, Sven noticed the sign: "Boat For Sale", displayed before an old tractor, and a mower attachment.
Sven called to his neighbor Olie: "You don't have a boat Olie, that's a tractor, & a mower."
Olie called back: "They're boat for sale."

joke (jōk)
n.
1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank: played a joke on his roommate.
3. Something that is of ludicrously poor quality: Their delivery service is a joke.
4. Informal
a. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The accident was no joke.
b. An object of amusement or laughter; a laughingstock: His loud tie was the joke of the office.
v.
joked, jok·ing, jokes
v.intr.
1. To tell or play jokes; jest.
2. To speak in fun; be facetious: You have to be joking.
v.tr.

To say or write as a joke.

[Latin iocus; see yek- in the Appendix of Indo-European roots.]

joking·ly adv.

Synonyms: joke, witticism, quip, crack, wisecrack, gag
These nouns refer to something that is said or done in order to evoke laughter or amusement. Joke especially denotes an amusing story with a punch line at the end: She told jokes at the party. A witticism is a witty, usually cleverly phrased remark: "He said one should treat heavy things lightly and light things with gravity, which became a handy witticism" (Natalie Dykstra).
A quip is a clever, pointed, often sarcastic remark: He responded to the tough questions with quips. Crack and wisecrack refer less formally to flippant or sarcastic retorts: She made a crack about my driving ability; he was punished for making wisecracks in class. Gag is principally applicable to a broadly comic remark or to comic byplay in a theatrical routine: It was one of the most memorable gags in the history of vaudeville.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition copyright ©2022 by HarperCollins Publishers. All rights reserved.
 
From Al Jazeera (something "lost in translation"?)

News | Russia-Ukraine war

Who is Colonel General Oleksandr Syrsky, Ukraine’s new army chief?​

Syrsky, who replaces General Valerii Zaluzhny, has been called ‘Snow Leopard’ and ‘Hero of Ukraine’ for his battlefield successes.

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/2/9/who-is-colonel-general-oleksandr-syrsky-ukraines-new-army-chief ?

:)

"Colonel General", is that the next rank up from "Sergeant Major"?

Message for Mr. Jazeera:
Al, bud-A
What army you in? "Colonel General" ?!
 
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.

After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,

"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"

"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,

"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."

"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,

"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...

"Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley... YOU RIDE IT!!".......

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"... who bought the Honda instead of the Harley... " S2 #216
Humor is intrinsically paraprosdokian.
I'm a licensed motorcyclist. But I've never owned a motorcycle over 250cc.
"Hey Mom! Lookit ME!" is a style less unattractive in 12 year old children. If I had to go big displacement, I'd more inclined to BMW. Quieter. BUT !

László Benedek's The Wild One a 1953 American crime film staring Marlon Brando may not only have glamorized Harley Davidson, but helped elevate the motorcycle make to cult status.

Am I too jaded? Anyway ...

This is a chilling image.
I see no obvious indication it's not what it appears to be, except the puzzle that the rider is unlikely to be old enough to be licensed to operate on public roadway.
Would parents wealthy enough to afford these indulgences be irresponsible enough to allow her, unlicensed, on public roadway, in traffic, without a helmet?
I suspect it may be a modified image, even if expertly so.
Her shadow looks authentic, the depth of focus plausible.

A full-scale machine like that lists for $17K, cost kept lower due to mass production.
A scaled down version manufactured to be child-sized would be monumentally expensive.
Her machine looks either new, or recently "detailed", cleaned & polished to like-new condition, right down to the Armor All on the tires.
The poor little rich girl? She looks less than delighted, ignoring both camera & traffic.

When I ride I tend to keep one finger on the brake lever. Perhaps she hasn't learned this yet.

Thus, the image tells a story of dysfunction, of indulgence and multi-level failure.
"Whatever you do don't armour all your tires" Chuck, rider / owner of a Yamaha XT-175 / 250
 
There are a lot of kid-sized motorcycles on the market and they aren't that expensive.


A quick google gives any number - most are dirt bikes since, as you point out, kids aren't licensed to ride on the road.

And I remember attending a "monster truck rally" a number of years ago and part of the show involved adult "trick riders" on motorcycles but the part of the show that is relevant to this discussion was the little kids (5 and 6 year olds) who were tearing up the track in front of us.
 
Thanks for the kid bike glimpse. I do occasionally see such machines on display in front yard, with for sale sign. I've never seen one like #216.
Extrapolating from a single data point (one photograph) conspicuously risky. She looks spoiled to me. Strange pic, thus in part a component of my gratitude to you for posting it.
" I remember attending a "monster truck rally" a number of years ago "
I hope you had excellent hearing protection. From two blocks away I saw one at a parade. It was preposterously loud. I wouldn't deliberately risk the exposure indoors.

~1970 I went to Madison Square Garden and saw some trick drivers drive over ramps, and drive around on two wheels (the two right-side wheels).
For the grand finale Evil kinevil jump some school buses on a Harley.
It has since inspired me to puzzle over the feeding Christians to the lions at the Colosseum. Brisk ticket sales?
 
I hope you had excellent hearing protection. From two blocks away I saw one at a parade. It was preposterously loud. I wouldn't deliberately risk the exposure indoors.
It was actually outdoors so it was loud (but not at the ear damage level) and dirty. We went home afterwards and we all had to have showers (the amount of dust/dirt thrown up was insane).

And it was staged to the point of ridiculousness - one of the trucks lost a wheel right in front of us - funny that the local newspaper had reported on the show two days earlier and had reported the same thing.
 
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