Just a little humor

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied...

"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident".
...I just lost it.... "CASE DISMISSED!!"
 
And now for a little cutting edge humor

Lorena Bobbit’s sister, Sabrina tried to follow her sister’s lead and cut off her husband’s penis with a knife but she missed and stabbed him in the leg. She was arrested on a “mis-de-wiener”.
 
In the law suit, was Mr. Bobbit's cash award called "severance pay"?

This marital dispute happened 30 years ago. With a median U.S. age of 38 that suggests to me most U.S. citizens don't recall this "news" story.

note:
Reportedly it was a policeman that asked about the location of the severed member, obtained from Lorena the location where she discarded it. The COP then searched that area, found it, transported it to the location necessary for its successful reattachment. Good police work, but how does it look on the résumé?
I'm not usually religious, but one time I was on a plane with some really scary turbulence. My immediate first reaction was to start taking rights away from gay people.
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World·Business Insider

Ukrainian helicopter crew say women flash them as they fly overhead to boost their morale fighting Russia​


  • A Ukrainian air force crew told The Sunday Times that women flash them when they fly overhead.
  • One woman even proposed marriage by holding up a sign as they flew over a town, a pilot said.
  • The Ukrainian air force is trying to keep morale high as it faces a strong Russian counterpart.
A Ukrainian helicopter crew told The Sunday Times that women in the country flash them as they fly overhead to boost their morale in fighting Russia.

He said his crew saves the GPS locations of places where it happens, ...

Sophia Ankel
Updated Mon, July 17, 2023 at 10:55 AM EDT

news.yahoo.com

Ukrainian helicopter crew say women flash them as they fly overhead to boost their morale fighting Russia

A Ukrainian pilot told The Sunday Times they have saved the GPS locations of places where patriotic Ukrainian women have flashed them.
news.yahoo.com news.yahoo.com

Sophia Ankel ?!
 
Re #45, if memory serves correctly he starred in at least one porn flick after his surgery. Think the title was "uncut"
 
A lawyer boarded an airplane in Dublin with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's fridge.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in London, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin,

"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Dublin, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up... So she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

  • 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
  • 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think
 
Anyone that doubts blond hair lowers IQ should see what happens to a room full of men when an attractive blond woman walks in.
As demonstrated by behavior the men's IQ drops by 20 points.
 
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Q: Why is it so difficult for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

A: Such men already have boyfriends.
 
sear said:
Q: Why is it so difficult for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

A: Such men already have boyfriends.
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In my student days a female acquaintance made a similar statement - those men are either married or gay.

At which point the gay guy at the table told her she was wrong - they were either married or straight ... or both.
 
Shiftless2 said:
In my student days a female acquaintance made a similar statement - those men are either married or gay.
At which point the gay guy at the table told her she was wrong - they were either married or straight ... or both.
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"The grass is always greener ...".
"Men are either born gay, or not. Women are just quitters." Bill Maher
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S2 #55

OK
Rarely do I express skepticism about a young blonde woman in a two-piece. BUT !!

Sporting a shovel in a cemetery ?!
Am I just old-fashioned? Let's ask Mary Shelley ?
 
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