Just a little humor

Edith, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals,, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.

Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities,, but feared her wicked tongue enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Henry (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.

He didn’t explain, defend, or deny.

He said nothing.

Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Edith’s house... walked home... and left it there all night.

You gotta love Henry.
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On today's most stupid idiots, I present riverwild....​


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One or two abortions a month and they can be castrated.
 
"... mirrors on mirrors ..." J. Browne PhD

There's a long tradition of self-leveling humor, even in criticism. A familiar example from centuries past, "the 3 R's" the core curriculum in frontier, one-room school houses: readin', 'rightin', & 'rithmetic.
It was a way to address the need for literacy even among subsistence pioneers.

Shiftless2 said:

"stupid idiots" ​

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Not much leeway in grammatical English for intelligent idiots.
Whether a two offspring pregnancy can mean one ectopic, and the other not, don't know.

Without more information, not sure how much if any of this is satirical.
 
sear said:
Without more information, not sure how much if any of this is satirical.
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While I can't speak to this particular meme, the number of comments I see on various boards that demonstrate that a lot of men know absolutely nothing about female anatomy.
 
Shiftless2 said:
"While I can't speak to this particular meme, the number of comments I see on various boards that demonstrate that a lot of men know absolutely nothing about female anatomy." S2 #425
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How could they ?!
Women, instead of their gonads hanging from a sack where they belong, women conceal them internally.
Imagine that! Internal gonads!
That's why women can't be trusted. Too sneaky.
 
A man walks out of a bar, and gets into his car. A policeman approaches him and says: "Your eyes seem to be red. Have you been drinking?"
The man responds: "Your eyes seem to be glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
 
One bright afternoon, an elderly woman named Violet was leisurely driving down the highway when she noticed flashing lights in her rearview mirror. Without a hint of worry, she calmly pulled over, and a young police officer approached her car.
Officer: "Ma'am, do you know why I stopped you?"
Violet: "Is there a problem, Officer?"
Officer: "Yes, ma'am. You were speeding."
Violet: "Ah, I see."
Officer: "May I see your driver’s license, please?"
Violet: "I’d show you, but I don’t have one."
Officer: "You don’t have one?"
Violet: "Nope. Lost it four years ago for drunk driving."
The officer blinked, surprised, but kept going.
Officer: "Can I see your vehicle registration papers?"
Violet: "I can’t do that."
Officer: "Why not?"
Violet: "Because I stole this car."
The officer’s eyes widened in shock.
Officer: "You… stole it?"
Violet: "Yes, and I killed the owner. His body parts are in the trunk if you want to check."
The officer’s face drained of color. He backed away from the car slowly and called for backup. Within minutes, the car was surrounded by police, and a senior officer, hand resting on his holstered gun, cautiously approached Violet.
Officer 2: "Ma’am, please step out of the vehicle."
Violet complied, stepping out with a gentle smile.
Violet: "Is there an issue, Officer?"
Officer 2: "One of my officers said you stole this car and killed the owner."
Violet: "Killed the owner? Goodness, no! Feel free to check the trunk if you’re worried."
The senior officer, still on edge, motioned for her to open the trunk. Violet did so, revealing nothing but an empty space where her groceries usually went.
Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma’am?"
Violet: "Yes, sir. Here are the registration papers."
The officer looked them over, growing more confused with each passing second.
Officer 2: "My officer also said you don’t have a driver’s license."
With a knowing smile, Violet reached into her handbag and pulled out her license, handing it over.
The officer stared at it, then back at her, utterly baffled.
Officer 2: "Everything checks out. I’m sorry, ma’am, but my officer reported that you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and even that you killed the owner."
Violet: (chuckling) "I bet that liar also told you I was speeding!"
 
IRISH ALZHEIMER'S
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat
during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, he?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
 
Shiftless2 said:
IRISH ALZHEIMER'S
"... Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat." #431
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“The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.” Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), Anglo-Irish playwright, author. letter, Aug. 16,1890, to the editor of the Scots Observer. In answer to criticisms leveled at Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. George Bernard Shaw (1856-50), Anglo-Irish playwright, critic
 
A traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm.
Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.
Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride very badly, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine to be heard over the rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running.
The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and beg for his life. He was certain the ghost car would go off the road and into the river, and he would surely drown!
But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again.
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, frightened nearly to death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran through the storm to the nearby town.
Wet and in shock, he went into a lighted tavern and with voice quavering, ordered a drink, and then, shaken, he told everybody about his supernatural experience.
A silence came over those listening and everybody got goose bumps.
They realized the guy was sober and was telling the truth. And the sounds of the storm continued outside.
About a half hour later, two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, 'Look Billy Bob, there's that idiot that rode in our car while we was pushing it in the rain.'
 
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oldie but not so goodie?

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see whats in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see whats in bed and go to the fridge.

Fay: I know someone who thinks he's an owl.
Jay: Who?
Fay: Make that two people.

Immanuel Kant, but Dinah might.
 
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