Just a little humor

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“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” Ronald Reagan

 

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Buffalo Bills !

Official Buffalo Sabres Website | Buffalo Sabres

The official National Hockey League website including news, rosters, stats, schedules, teams, and video.

www.nhl.com

Football's kind of stupid.
They call it a "ball", but it's not even spherical.
A hockey puck isn't either, but it's harder
to criticize.

Go Sabres !

 

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"If pigs could fly ..." S2 #1,703

"If" ?!


“I’m looking forward to Halloween, seeing all the monsters and the nightmarish imagery.
Then I’ll turn off the campaign ads and wait for the trick-or-treaters.” Craig Ferguson

 

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“I’m looking forward to Halloween, seeing all the monsters and the nightmarish imagery.
Then I’ll turn off the campaign ads and wait for the trick-or-treaters.” Craig Ferguson

.... when you successfully killed 3 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a wooden stick but start to wonder why they were holding candy bags.

 

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#vintagestyle #fbreels #funnyreels | Dark Vintage | Facebook

#vintagestyle #fbreels #funnyreels

www.facebook.com

 

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"You can't spell advertisements ..." BB #1,707

Why would we wish to spell advertisements? Pubillicity?

 

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Doctor: “You’re as healthy as a horse!”
Patient: “That’s great.”
Doctor: “A horse with kidney stones.”

 

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A statistician is someone who can stand with one foot in a bucket of ice and the other in a bucket of boiling water and say that on the average he's comfortable.

 

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"A statistician is someone who can stand with one foot in a bucket of ice and the other in a bucket of boiling water and say that on the average he's comfortable." S2 #1,711

And if either adversity proves fatal, he becomes a die-itician.
"Is that really true Sears?" Bruce
"Of corpse." s #1,712

 

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Doctor: “Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?”
Patient: “Give me the good news.”
Doctor: “You’re about to have a disease named after you.”

 

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Sarah was informed her DNA was backward.
Unaware of the practical implications she coaxed: "AND ...?"

Yes. Sarah is a natural blonde.