Just a little humor
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Shiftless2
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Shiftless2
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The most perfectly told joke of all time??
Shiftless2
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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."
Shiftless2
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Humor or political commentary?
Shiftless2
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Fast Food
Two Convenient Locations
Shiftless2
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Shiftless2
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Green guy thinks that threatening a Democrat will stop people from going after Republicans. It won't.
"Peace for our time" a declaration made by British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain 30 September 1938
Stockholm syndrome
n.
A psychological syndrome in which a person being held captive begins to identify with and grow sympathetic to the captor, simultaneously becoming unsympathetic towards the police or other authorities.
[After Stockholm, where a hostage in a 1973 bank robbery became romantically attached to one of her captors.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition copyright ©2022 by HarperCollins Publishers. All rights reserved.
Worth noting: appeasement didn't work against Hitler. The Trump administration manifests horrifying parallels to the Third Reich. Tell #1,629 green guy.
Stockholm Syndrome ?
Stockholm syndrome
n.
A psychological syndrome in which a person being held captive begins to identify with and grow sympathetic to the captor, simultaneously becoming unsympathetic towards the police or other authorities.
[After Stockholm, where a hostage in a 1973 bank robbery became romantically attached to one of her captors.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition copyright ©2022 by HarperCollins Publishers. All rights reserved.
Worth noting: appeasement didn't work against Hitler. The Trump administration manifests horrifying parallels to the Third Reich. Tell #1,629 green guy.
What was the name of the operation to switch Trump from AF1 to a military transport plane before he departed Türkiye?
The information remains classified. The following are possible approximations:"Operation Orange Chicken"
"Operation Iran Away"
"Operation We're Going To Need A Bigger Box"
"Operation Basket Case"
"Operation Canned Ham"
"Operation Taco Truck"
Shiftless2
Well-known member
Putin’s car raced along a back road, late for a tryst.
The car rounded a curve, hit a hog in the road, killing it.
Putin commanded his chauffeur to stop.
"That hog was probably the farmers food for the winter.
Go to the farmhouse and tell him that you killed it."
The chauffeur strode to the farm house, & entered.
Hours later he stumbled back to his driver’s seat
reeking of and hammered by vodka, mind-numb from additional pleasures.
Putin demanded: "Where the heck have you been? I'm late for my tryst!"
chauffeur: "The farmer over-served me both food & drink.
His charming daughter enticed me to her room, did things to me
I could not possibly have imagined."
Putin: "Exactly, what did you say to the farmer?"
Chauffeur: "I told him, I'm Putin’s chauffeur and I just killed the pig.”
inspired by: https://banzore.com/forums/threads/my-collection-of-russian-jokes.20048/
People like jokes with happy endings. This joke has at least two. At least !
The car rounded a curve, hit a hog in the road, killing it.
Putin commanded his chauffeur to stop.
"That hog was probably the farmers food for the winter.
Go to the farmhouse and tell him that you killed it."
The chauffeur strode to the farm house, & entered.
Hours later he stumbled back to his driver’s seat
reeking of and hammered by vodka, mind-numb from additional pleasures.
Putin demanded: "Where the heck have you been? I'm late for my tryst!"
chauffeur: "The farmer over-served me both food & drink.
His charming daughter enticed me to her room, did things to me
I could not possibly have imagined."
Putin: "Exactly, what did you say to the farmer?"
Chauffeur: "I told him, I'm Putin’s chauffeur and I just killed the pig.”
inspired by: https://banzore.com/forums/threads/my-collection-of-russian-jokes.20048/
People like jokes with happy endings. This joke has at least two. At least !
Shiftless2
Well-known member
Shiftless2
Well-known member
Shiftless2
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If he wasn't HHS secretary this would be laughable
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Eye. Glasses. Nose. Then... well. Nobody asked the HHS Secretary to explain government using toilet paper. He did it anyway. Laugh first. Then listen to what he's actually explaining: why he couldn't overhaul vaccine policy on day one. From his C
Eye. Glasses. Nose. Then... well. Nobody asked the HHS Secretary to explain government using toilet paper. He did it anyway. Laugh first. Then listen to what he's actually explaining: why he...
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