The handsome young man stumbled into a bar, asked the bartenderess for a double-entendre. So ...

The penguin's car was leaking oil, so he took it to his mechanic. During the check the penguin waited in the freezer where, out of boredom he began devouring all the ice cream in sight. When the mechanic leaned in & declared "It looks like you've blown a seal.", the penguin quickly wiped his beak and insisted, "Never! It's only ice-cream".
 
Jerry was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully to his wife, Karen, "I have one last request dear," he said.

"Of course, Jerry," his wife said softly.

"Six months after l die," Jerry said, "I want you to marry Bob."

"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

With his last breath, Jerry said,

"I do!"
 
He: "Before I die darling, I have something I must confess to you."

She: "I know all about it dear. That's why I poisoned you."

Samuel Johnson called remarriage a triumph of hope over experience.
 
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