Shiftless2
Well-known member
I did consider posting this in the "Canadian Friends" post but figured it fits here as well
Hey Donald Trump Stop Fucking With Canada
Okay, so my dog’s not well, and you’re way over there in the middle east accepting bribes from men who chop up journalists, so I thought we could take a break from each other, but apparently not. We are in a very serious parasocial relationship—no days off—and I don’t see it ending until you’re dead or in jail or I’m dead or in jail or you no longer have an iota of power.
Today, I learned that you’ve built a snitch site to target Canadian doctors. Apparently, you think our doctors are a bunch of transphobic fuckwads who are going to dial into America to report on gender-affirming care being provided to human beings in Canada—which is legal here—but they’re not. Keep your twisty minded, scapegoat manifesting, Adam and Eve Stasi bullshit on your side of the border, you rapist creep.
And while I’m at it, stop sending Republican losers to Alberta to bang on doors. Stop asking people if they want to separate. Stop stirring shit up, stop driving division, stop fomenting hate in Canada. Isn’t your goddamn trade war enough, Donald? What is your problem? Did your mother not love you at all?
Albertans. We see you. We are going to work things out. If anyone with a southern accent (which I love, some of my best friends have them, all y’all) and more bravado than a Canadian would ever feel comfortable displaying shows up at your HOME:
1) Ask to see ID.
2) Take their picture. Take their car’s picture. Doesn’t matter if they smile. Videotape them if you’re feeling hella cowboy.
3) Tell them you’d rather not become a poor resource colony with a $7.25 minimum wage, no healthcare and without the right to cast a vote. (I’m looking at you Puerto Rico.)
4) Remind them that Alberta is on Treaty land. Tell them to go court our First Nations’ people. Wish them luck.
5) Ask them who’s paying them. Ask them if they have the right to be working in Canada. Report them to immigration. Report them to CSBA. Call the freaking cops.
6) Maybe don’t vote for Trump loving Danielle Smith again. Or work some magic and make sure Pierre Poilievre doesn’t get elected in the country’s safest riding. He’s not going to do anything for the people there. Just ask the folks who voted him out in the Carleton riding here in Ottawa.
(Partially ripped off from Meanwhile in Canada. Thank you. Sorry. I hope you don’t mind, and I added some stuff, because holy shit.)
Donald, if you haven’t noticed we’re a liberal minded country. We were heading right, but you stepped in and saved us. We thank you for that. But seriously, shut up, fuck off, you’ve done enough. We are up here trying not to lose our jobs and watching the hockey playoffs and looking out for each other. Because we’re Canadian. And you, Donald Trump, are seriously pissing us off.
Courage, love, and solidarity. On both sides of the border.
xoxo Joanne
Like. Follow. Share.
You can find my essays collected on Substack @joannevproulx. Not all of them are this feisty.
Also this isn't the prettiest picture, but it makes a point. Canadians have never been known for their patriotism. But we ain't playin now
Liz Cheney/Adam Kinzinger Against Trump
Joanne Proulx · otsrnoepdS1l70au91t5169f0431i503f7153ac67gg0h7l01h87hu440l2m ·Hey Donald Trump Stop Fucking With Canada
Okay, so my dog’s not well, and you’re way over there in the middle east accepting bribes from men who chop up journalists, so I thought we could take a break from each other, but apparently not. We are in a very serious parasocial relationship—no days off—and I don’t see it ending until you’re dead or in jail or I’m dead or in jail or you no longer have an iota of power.
Today, I learned that you’ve built a snitch site to target Canadian doctors. Apparently, you think our doctors are a bunch of transphobic fuckwads who are going to dial into America to report on gender-affirming care being provided to human beings in Canada—which is legal here—but they’re not. Keep your twisty minded, scapegoat manifesting, Adam and Eve Stasi bullshit on your side of the border, you rapist creep.
And while I’m at it, stop sending Republican losers to Alberta to bang on doors. Stop asking people if they want to separate. Stop stirring shit up, stop driving division, stop fomenting hate in Canada. Isn’t your goddamn trade war enough, Donald? What is your problem? Did your mother not love you at all?
Albertans. We see you. We are going to work things out. If anyone with a southern accent (which I love, some of my best friends have them, all y’all) and more bravado than a Canadian would ever feel comfortable displaying shows up at your HOME:
1) Ask to see ID.
2) Take their picture. Take their car’s picture. Doesn’t matter if they smile. Videotape them if you’re feeling hella cowboy.
3) Tell them you’d rather not become a poor resource colony with a $7.25 minimum wage, no healthcare and without the right to cast a vote. (I’m looking at you Puerto Rico.)
4) Remind them that Alberta is on Treaty land. Tell them to go court our First Nations’ people. Wish them luck.
5) Ask them who’s paying them. Ask them if they have the right to be working in Canada. Report them to immigration. Report them to CSBA. Call the freaking cops.
6) Maybe don’t vote for Trump loving Danielle Smith again. Or work some magic and make sure Pierre Poilievre doesn’t get elected in the country’s safest riding. He’s not going to do anything for the people there. Just ask the folks who voted him out in the Carleton riding here in Ottawa.
(Partially ripped off from Meanwhile in Canada. Thank you. Sorry. I hope you don’t mind, and I added some stuff, because holy shit.)
Donald, if you haven’t noticed we’re a liberal minded country. We were heading right, but you stepped in and saved us. We thank you for that. But seriously, shut up, fuck off, you’ve done enough. We are up here trying not to lose our jobs and watching the hockey playoffs and looking out for each other. Because we’re Canadian. And you, Donald Trump, are seriously pissing us off.
Courage, love, and solidarity. On both sides of the border.
xoxo Joanne
Like. Follow. Share.
You can find my essays collected on Substack @joannevproulx. Not all of them are this feisty.
Also this isn't the prettiest picture, but it makes a point. Canadians have never been known for their patriotism. But we ain't playin now