Just a little humor

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beautiful Porsche.
Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car.
“Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad screamed in shock.
“I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly.
“With what money young man?” his mom demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it!”
“Well, it’s used and I got a good deal,” says the boy, “This one cost me 20 dollars.”
“Who on earth would sell a car like that for 20 dollars?!”
“The woman up the street,” the boy replies. “I don’t know her name–she just moved in. She ordered a pizza and when I delivered it to her, she asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for 20 dollars.”
The boy’s dad and mom hurry over to their new neighbor’s house, ready to demand an explanation. Curiously, their new neighbor is calmly planting flowers in her front yard.
“I’m the father of the kid you just sold a sports car to for $20,” the dad says. “I need an explanation from you!”
“Well,” the woman says, not looking up from her garden. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip in Florida, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”
“What on earth does that have to do with selling our son a Porsche for $20?” The boy’s mom asks, utterly perplexed.
The new neighbor smiles very big, and pauses for a minute. “Well, my husband asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money.
“So I did.”
 
Each of the dining tables at the Joke-Teller's convention was fully occupied.
During the bustle, a member in attendance would stand, announce a brief code,
and then sit back down to throngs of raucous laughter.
"D17!" was heard from table 34, the crowd roared.
Puzzled, a guest sought explanation from his host.

"They're all master jokesters. They know the jokes already,
it takes too long to tell the whole thing, so they just recite the reference code."

"Looks easy! Let me try." said the guest enthusiastically.
He leapt to his feet and announced in a loud, steady voice: "36DD!"
A polite stillness washed over the crowd, seeming to boost the volume of clanking tableware.

"What happened?" asked the guest. "Is that the wrong code?"
"No. The code was fine. And it's a good joke too." replied the host.

"Then why didn't anyone laugh?" the guest implored.
The host winced, and replied: "They didn't like the way you told it."

E31
Nailed it !! Right?
I've been practicing.
 
Rigby5 said:
"Odd beliefs since a globe is round and spins, so never has a "top".R5 #1,467
Click to expand...
It's a convention of society, not irrefutable science.
There are two North poles:
- celestial North, the point on the globe around which the planet rotates
- magnetic North, which meanders over the decades, relative to celestial North
Don't know why it would matter, but there's also a geometric axis perpendicular to the ecliptic. But due to Earth's rotation, that point on Earth scribes a circle, about every day. Is that the Arctic Circle?

The practice of displaying wall maps with South closest the floor helps avoid the complications if the planet applied an every-map-for-himself standard.

Rigby5 said:
"Nor does smoke "always go up".
Heat goes up, but ... R5 #1,467
Click to expand...
Some may think it paradoxical, because gravity is an attraction force.
Magnets can be used to attract, or repel.
Gravity seems to be attraction only.

Rigby5 said:
"Heat goes up, but ..." R5 #1,467
Click to expand...
... but only in a gravitational field. Why?
The density differential.
Among fluids, including liquids, gases, and plasma etc,
when there's a density differential gravity pulls the denser material downward.

Humans just have an odd way of thinking of it. We call it "sunrise". Actually the horizon is moving down.
We say "heat rises", but actually, cold sinks, displacing surrounding fluid, driving the less dense fluid (air for example) up.

Not clear to me what would cause heat to rise outside of a gravitational gradient.
 
sear said:
It's a convention of society, not irrefutable science.
There are two North poles:
- celestial North, the point on the globe around which the planet rotates
- magnetic North, which meanders over the decades, relative to celestial North
Don't know why it would matter, but there's also a geometric axis perpendicular to the ecliptic. But due to Earth's rotation, that point on Earth scribes a circle, about every day. Is that the Arctic Circle?

The practice of displaying wall maps with South closest the floor helps avoid the complications if the planet applied an every-map-for-himself standard.


Some may think it paradoxical, because gravity is an attraction force.
Magnets can be used to attract, or repel.
Gravity seems to be attraction only.


... but only in a gravitational field. Why?
The density differential.
Among fluids, including liquids, gases, and plasma etc,
when there's a density differential gravity pulls the denser material downward.

Humans just have an odd way of thinking of it. We call it "sunrise". Actually the horizon is moving down.
We say "heat rises", but actually, cold sinks, displacing surrounding fluid, driving the less dense fluid (air for example) up.

Not clear to me what would cause heat to rise outside of a gravitational gradient.
Click to expand...

The point of rotational axis is not really the "top".
If we lived in the Southern Hemisphere, I would guess we would consider the Antarctic to be the top?

Once it cools, smoke is actually heavier than clean air.

But the AI says there is no anti-gravity. and it says gravity is actually a curvature of "space-time" caused by mass.
Not very intuitive to me.
 
1784547834230.png

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter, snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight).

They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte !!

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'. And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment..... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

If you laughed at this pass it on. Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart, then you are just a sour old fart or tart.
 
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